Music has long been an important part of social ceremonies, including installation of church officials and government dignitaries and, of course, weddings. For many people, their wedding stands out as a singular high point of their lives and they want their ceremony and reception to reflect that in every respect -- the food, the colors of bridesmaids' dresses, the floral arrangements, photography and music all contribute to the mood or splendor of the event. Here are thoughts for making the music portion of your wedding an appropriate and memorable part of your significant life event.
Some music seems to "belong" to a long tradition. An example is the "Here Comes The Bride" music that became popular at German weddings and then spread throughout the world following Richard Wagner's composing the song for the wedding scene of his opera "Lohengrin" in 1848. Some might like a more recent "tradition" as has occasionally been found in the use of Maria's bridal march from Rogers and Hammerstein's "Sound of Music."
Wedding music has two aspects -- functional and aesthetic. As a function, it provides "sound space" for such things as prelude music to "fill time" and set the mood of the ceremony, processional music to help the bridal procession "keep in step," perhaps a song or instrumental selection to help break up the "talk" portions of a ceremony, and a recessional to guide the bride and groom down the aisle and out of the building. The musical function of the reception can range from subdued background music for a quiet affair to a rockin' frolic of what may essentially be a very happy party for family and guests. Indeed, among many nations and social classes, a reception is just that. Celebrating the wedding couple is the essence, whatever the style.
The bride who wishes a special song or other special music that may be unique, should be willing to provide the musician(s) with a copy of the sheet music and a CD or tape copy thereof (or whatever of the two may be available). In this way, the musician has the tools for performing that song in a way that is effectively close to what the bride would expect to hear. It is good to remember that there are millions of songs and music and no musician knows them all.
If you are like most brides and grooms, the music that will be played during your wedding ceremony is very important to you -- but you may not have a clue how to go about selecting it! This course is designed to assist couples like you in selecting your ceremony music. The focus here is on the guidelines for American weddings, as customs do vary in other countries.
Setting Is Important
An important factor in choosing your music is the setting for your wedding ceremony. If your ceremony will not be in a religious setting, you can choose just about any kind of music you like -- although you will want to stay within the bounds of good taste! You will also have more latitude to use either live music or recorded music during your ceremony if it is in a non-religious setting.
On the other hand, if your ceremony will be in a church or synagogue, or conducted by a clergy person at another location, you will probably need to stay within guidelines set by the clergy person or the church.
Most religious denominations consider a wedding ceremony to be a form of worship service. For this reason, churches generally do not allow “secular” music (non-religious popular music) during a wedding. Some will allow tasteful secular music while the guests are being seated, but not during the ceremony itself. Check with the church where your wedding will be held for its specific guidelines.
Acceptable Lyrics for Church Weddings
How religious do the lyrics of a song have to be for a church wedding? Songs that make respectful reference to God (or to Jesus or the Holy Spirit in Christian churches) are almost certain to be acceptable. Many churches will also allow a song that does not make specific reference to a deity, as long as it focuses on religious ideals and values relating to love and marriage, such as faithfulness and mutual support.
Vocal Solos
Most weddings include a vocal soloist singing anywhere from one to four selections during the wedding ceremony, depending on the length of the ceremony. The accompaniment is usually piano, acoustic guitar or harp. You will probably need to hire live vocalist(s); many churches do not allow recorded music in wedding ceremonies, except perhaps recorded accompaniment for a live vocalist.
Places in the Ceremony for Vocal Selections
Appropriate places in the ceremony for vocal selections, depending on church guidelines, may include: (1) during the seating of the mothers or lighting of candles by the mothers; (2) immediately before the processional; (3) before the vows; (4) during the lighting of the Unity Candle; and (5) during the serving of communion to the congregation, if this is included in the ceremony.
Finding the Right Songs for You
Vocal music is probably the aspect of your wedding music selection where you will want to have the most personal involvement, since the songs include lyrics and you will want them to be especially meaningful for you. Where can you find songs with just the right lyrics that will be acceptable in a church setting? And preferably something you haven’t heard at a hundred other weddings?
First, ask your vocalist or accompanist for suggestions.
Before deciding whether the songs suggested by your musicians are really what you want, you should go to a store that sells sheet music and songbooks and browse in the wedding section. (Look for printed music rather than recorded music, as your musicians will probably need printed music to work from.) Chances are, you will find something that more closely expresses what you want to say than the songs suggested by your musicians.
Pre-Ceremony Music
Typically the organist or other instrumentalists will provide music before the ceremony, while the guests are being seated. However, vocal selections may also be included in the pre-ceremony music and, as mentioned earlier, some churches may allow tasteful secular songs to be sung during the pre-ceremony phase that they would not allow during the ceremony itself. Many couples leave the choice of pre-ceremony music to the musicians, feeling they have enough decisions to make without adding this to the list!
Questions? Ask me.